We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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