I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
