garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
