No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
