I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
