apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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