if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
