I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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