remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
