OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The feeling are messing with the penis
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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