I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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