How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
