Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
