For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
