There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
