I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
