i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
