and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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