so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
