i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Randomize
