9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
