Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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