I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
