xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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