I think I died a long time ago.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
