we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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