you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
