Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
