it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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