Rock
Scissors
Fuck
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
