Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
