i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
