I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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