Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
