I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
