I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
