Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
