Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
