He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
