fuck your aforementioned shoe
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
