So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
