some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
