I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
