Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
