it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Green mimosas i think yes
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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