Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
