shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
