Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
