hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
