When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
