Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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