is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
